Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino
that i can forgive you. oh! that condition! can we do that? can we really forgive others unconditionally, other than our children and our grandchildren for whom that seems to come to as a gift of nature? i’m sure the native american indians got it right when they taught every living thing from a rock to the earth to a person deserves our love and reverence and forgiveness and that makes such simple sense until someone throws a rock at your back, or breaks your heart in two. then, under these and a zillion other scenarios, the road to unconditional love via forgiveness can get pretty bumpy.
but the older i become, the more i want to try to stay on it a little bit more daily… i want to love unconditionally and it helps that dream seem less daunting when i consider what unconditional forgiveness even means:
it does not mean i approve of what was done
it doesn’t mean i have to forget
forgiveness means i forget about expecting you to change the past
i forget about holding you hostage for it,
so join me on this sacred dirt road and see if any of these lookout points open a new vista. do any of these reasons to forgive someone who you truly want to love resonate with you?
i forgive you for:
taking me to a “romantic valentine’s dinner” at a place that played rap.
leaving your dirty socks on the floor. again.
not doing it the way i would do it.
giving me advice i didn’t ask for.
being smarter, prettier, richer or funnier than i am.
not being able to make me happy
talking about me behind my back
not being who i told others you would be.
i forgive you for embarrassing me
i forgive you for not showing up on time
for what you said to me when i was a child
for what you didn’t say
i forgive you for not being healthy.
i forgive you for not choosing me
i forgive you for choosing me for what I never wanted to be chosen for
i forgive you for laying me off my job
i forgive you for reminding me of my mother, father, sister, teacher
i forgive you for being black, white, male, female, foreign or furry. (fill in the blank)
so i pray for a forgiving heart so that i may love you unconditionally. and under one final condition:
that i can forgive myself first. because if i have no forgiveness for me i really have none to offer you.
it’s not an easy journey but it’s so worth it. the road itself is very forgiving. nothing but love. it’s not a project. it’s a process. a little bit more each day. it may well be what heals us and our world.
peace and blessings,