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I’VE MOVED!

this has moved to a new location at cristinacarlino.com! i hope you will check out my blog there, along with all of the other great content!

xo – c

listening with new ears

cristina carlino

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

i am honored and grateful to be featured in this month’s “O the Oprah Magazine.” i was asked as an expert on beauty and a woman who is closing in on 50 to tell “The Five Things I Know for Sure About Aging.” i can say now i am “living my best life” after taking a profound and unplanned inner journey to loving both the beauty and the beast within me, since the time my friend, susan casey wrote my answers a few months back and this issue reached the stands, i have am sure i know at least five more things i could add to that list. and i will here. that is the beauty of aging.

each day i know more because as one of the great thinkers of all time, carl jung, said, “midlife is the time we begin to listen with our heart.” and that is where my knowledge is coming from. a heart that knows more and thinks less. my eyelids may droop a bit, i may be thinning out everywhere but my hips, but i have new ears! the ones that choose to listen first with my heart as i wasn’t able to do the years i was creating and building and loving my businesses while not so much myself. the ones that know we cannot hear what we need to hear one second before the moment we are ready to hear it. and that moment is not up to us. there are many of these moments along the path.

my first mid-life moment came at 40 with the birth of my beautiful daughter. the next, the one that sent me on my journey, came in my 48th year in an unexpected phone call from my office that led to my resignation from philosophy. it was a “calling” that like many i see now was thirty years in the making. looking back now, two years later with a more knowing heart, what i thought was the end was really the very beginning as it was the greatest awakening of my life second only i suppose to the day of my actual birth. but first, as carl jung also said, no conscious awakening comes without some pain. and rest. that is what my interactive journal, “Beautiful Beast” is about. surrender and peace not just to age but to everything.

i can tell you from my heart today i realize i had to leave the beauty business to get to this place where what i feel inside is positively gorgeous. my inner eye is my only mirror to see myself and quite frankly others. this has been the gift of age for me. i am at peace with getting older. never has the divine been closer and never has the synchronicity of events, some wonderful and some frightening, been more obvious to me. life isn’t meant to be perfect and neither am i. but it is meant to be lived.

so here are five more things “I Know for Sure about Aging” today:

(1) that a sunset or a pretty moon or telling the person you were speaking to “i love you” is not to be missed ever if you can help it
(2) that the only thing real, at least to me, is love.
(3) that loving people doesn’t always mean rescuing people.
(4) that surrender, not resignation, is the greatest anti-aging elixir i have ever discovered.
(5) that five months from today, i will know at least five additional things if i keep listening to my heart.

i’d love to hear what you know about aging.

with peace and blessings, c

love the one you’re with…that would be you!

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

cristina carlino

love is in the air.  and as always on the airwaves.   on the  oldie’s station  yesterday i heard the  classic,  “love the one you’re with.”   remember  that one?    “and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.”   i was only eight  in 1970 when stephen stills recorded that  and they’ve been playing it ever since.  free love was the big thing back then.   today, i’m prayerful my nine year old daughter is growing up in a world where “self love” is even  bigger.  at least there are more female rockers singing about it.   because we are at last beginning to get the picture that we need not be with some dude that is just not that into us or maybe he really is into us and loves us unconditionally but  it can’t  make us feel loved long enough or  right enough if we don’t  love ourselves.  the one we spend every living breath of our lives with.  it often seems we are often the last to receive our own love.  come to find out no matter how much we feel we are giving our highest love to another, we cannot love another more than we love ourselves.

so this being the month of valentine’s love, i’m thinking more about intimacy.  with the love of my life,   with my child, a friend, my  parents, my siblings –  intimacy is being known and seen for who you truly are.  beginning with knowing and seeing my true self.  so here is a list of ways i’ve made to practice loving myself.  see if they work for you. in the morning.  when your  eyes first open  and before your  feet touch the floor,  give thanks.  you are still alive.  you are still here! in the morning.  when your  eyes first open  and before your  feet touch the floor,  give thanks.  you are still alive.  you are still here!

  1. look in the mirror and smile.   just say thank you.
  2. ask  for help at least one time each day.  whether from your idea of a god or another person.   how extraordinary  to discover we cannot do everything on our own.  we don’t have to and we don’t need to.     also, it rarely works.
  3. here’s a little alphabet game to  play  when you forget about  loving yourself.   start with a and go to z and come up with a name for each letter of someone who you love and someone who loves you.  my list can include our dog, authors who have changed my life, relatives who i may not have seen for years.
  4. i pray to love myself and see myself as god sees me.  even if i only can do this for a minute at a time.
  5. make yourself a delicious meal – a recipe you may have wanted to try for a long time.  or a new restaurant.  go alone or invite someone  you know from your alphabet list to join you.  dress up.  put on the earrings you think are only to be worn for a very special occasion.  this is it!
  6. go to the movies.  see something you’re in the mood to see that day.
  7. take a long luscious bath.  add bubbles.   light a few candles.  wash each part of your body as if it were the masterpiece of art and science that it is.
  8. take yourself dancing  (if only in your living room).  put on the music that will make your heart and soul rock out.
  9. allow yourself to be courageous.   tell yourself a secret  you may not have admitted to yourself or anyone in a long time or ever.  maybe it’s something you did in high school.  write it down on a piece of paper that nobody else needs to see.   read it out loud to yourself. share it with someone who you trust or do as i do- burn it and let it go.
  10. cry if you need to. a good cry is a priceless cleansing.
  11. laugh if you can.  a good laugh at ourselves opens the doors to a  new world.
  12. give yourself permission to pleasure your body.   our bodies need  and deserve  affection as well as emotional and sexual release.  use it or lose it.
  13. give up the need to be perfect.  one loving day we awaken to find all our search for perfection is good for is keeping us away from ourselves and others.
  14. practice listening for your own self judgments.  you know, the ones that  assess your every thought and action.  if you can do this for ten minutes a day you will learn so much more about your self.

come to find out intimacy is much more than taking off our clothes.  it’s taking off our masks.  it’s getting truly naked.   when we can give these things to ourselves we have them to give to others.  we can grow and keep growing.   we can truly support growth in  the ones we love and the one we are always with.  and isn’t that what love really is?

love and blessings,

c

 

my quotes

cristina carlino

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

i wanted to keep a running list of quotes, so i can update it whenever something inspires me! make sure you add your quotes on my facebook page; we are all here to inspire each other! xo

“The power of choice is all about the courage to choose the road less traveled. The right choice is always the one that takes greater faith on our part, greater risk, greater sacrifice and greater surrender” – C. Carlino

“Let go, let life” – C. Carlino

“Express passionately, live fearlessly, and become a walking prayer” – C. Carlino

“Choose with your eyes closed, your heart open, in silence” – C. Carlino

“Fate is chance, destiny is choice, when is the last time you went dancing?” – C. Carlino

“An intuitive choice is a no brainer. Only hearts need apply” – C. Carlino

“The best choices are when your heart and head are saying the same thing” – C. Carlino

“Our head chooses bad boys our heart chooses good ones” – C. Carlino

“Let your heart lead your brain” – C. Carlino

“A brand, in my opinion, is based on the people who create it, co-create it, and help it grow. The ‘culture’ of the company is the primary foundation on which any great brand is built” – C. Carlino

“There is plenty of room at the top, it’s the bottom that’s crowded” – C. Carlino

“The product has to be a game changer” – C. Carlino

“To win the game you have to change it” – C. Carlino

“Let your heart lead your life” – C. Carlino

“Let go, let love” – C. Carlino

“When making any choice always choose for our children” – C. Carlino

“We are reflections of one another we are one” – C. Carlino

“The only thing better than being loved is being loving” – C. Carlino

“Make love to everything that you do and be love to everyone that you meet” – C. Carlino

“Making love matters” – C. Carlino

“Love is the great equalizer. It doesn’t matter how rich, beautiful, powerful or intelligent you are. If you love to capacity you win the game called life” – C. Carlino

“Unconditional love forgives” – C. Carlino

“Love without limits and conditions” – C. Carlino

“Write your own love story with you as the beloved” – C. Carlino

“Love is the only thing that makes us weightless” – C. Carlino

“Love is the only diet a body and soul needs” – C. Carlino

“Love thyself unconditionally so that you can love others” – C. Carlino

“Live to love and love to live” – C. Carlino

“Everyone is born again in each and every moment of each and everyday” – C. Carlino

“Rebirth realigns us” – C. Carlino

“Begin again and again and again” – C. Carlino

“If work is medicine and overwork is pure poison” – C. Carlino

“There is no such thing as balancing an unbalanced work life” – C. Carlino

“When you are stressed out you cant sleep. When you are burnt out you cant wake up” – C. Carlino

 

mirror, mirror…

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

on the wall… well, soon to be on my wall.   the mirror, that is, that my eight year old daughter, grace,  brought  home from her art workshop the other day in manhattan while we were on vacation there. grace could have chosen to create so many things but she picked this mirror. on the frame, beside a little smiling face,  she painted in her precious handwriting  three words  –   I LOVE U. the experience  for me of seeing that my little girl, at her young age, had created a brilliant way to say these words to herself each time she looks at her reflection, struck  me to the core with its beauty; and I told her so.  i was so proud.  grace smiled big and put the mirror carefully into my hand. “oh no, mommy”, she said.    “i didn’t make this for me. this is made especially for you! i thought you could use it. i love you.”  then she hugged me and dashed out of the room and onto her next adventure.

how did she know in that moment i was not loving myself?  so, I LOVE U  mirror,  who is the fairest of them all?  and more importantly, where did this little girl come from?  what worlds can she still see,  play in and commune with that i have long ago forgotten? how did she know i had forgotten that day to say,  i love you to myself?  more astoundingly, how could she have known the back story to this day  that makes having this particular gift so astounding?  i had never said a single word to grace about it.

for the past several months, i’ve been working hard to finish up a new journal.  it’s been the most difficult thing i’ve ever written.  the interactive journal is in part about learning to listen to our hearts.  it is for a midlife woman’s journey to loving herself. it will be our project miracle #3.  the proceeds will benefit women’s heart research.  the journal is beautifully illustrated and i am working  with an immensely  gifted designer to come up with the last illustration.  we had just spoken a few days  earlier  about what this final, most  dynamic image  might be. we thought, how about an image of a woman holding up a mirror with the words on it, I LOVE U!

albert einstein said, “the most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.”  looking in my mirror, i am so grateful for my life and for my little girl.  once again, she wanted me to see myself as she sees me with soft, loving eyes. we see ourselves and each other in our reflections. there is eternal love.    this is the  great mystery.  the original project miracle.

xxo

for more information on project miracle, please see our website, www.projectmiracle.com.

you can also explore project miracle #1, the changing room, a mother’s journal of gratitude to her little girl, on amazon.

finally, we would just LOVE for you to join project miracle #2, she colors my day, on facebook and twitter!