let go and let grow!

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

i love this quote from the talmud, “every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, “grow, grow.”  and  i figure we do, too!   will  we get still enough to hear them. the  official beginning of spring is around the corner –the season of rebirth.  but then isn’t every season?  any occasion is ripe to begin anew.

springtime, new year’s day, your  birthday;  easter, next monday when for sure we’re starting our new exercise regime.  the end of a crisis, the beginning of a clearer path ahead, a  brand new relationship;  and most definitely  just a brand new day – the angels are our gentle cheerleaders whispering, “let go and grow.”  create and begin anew over and over and over.  it’s what most turns nature on.  the letting go part may seem a bit less exciting to us at times.  but maybe that’s why we invented  “spring cleaning.”   and now is the time.

so here is my short list of things you may want to let of to grow as you clean  house.  inside and out.   things seen and not seen.   from winter clothes to a last season’s grudge.  and i’ll be right there letting go with you.

l.  an old worn-out story.:  one that’s no longer true.  our stories can be reborn with the change of a few simple words.   from “he left me” to “i knew it was time to say goodbye” can have us grow from victim to victorious.

2.  toss old cosmetics: any you’re still holding onto in your cabinet  since the Spring of l999.  lets grow with the flow.  try a new color.   treat your skin to what it most needs today!   maybe there’s still a wee bit  left in the tube but our skin cells have shed and and renewed a thousand times over since then.   and so has the rest of our bodies.

3.  rewrite the lists of what you  think i have to do and who i have to be:   “grow, grow, grow” doesn’t mean so we can be more loved, richer or more powerful.   but to simply and magnificently  become more of who we are.  let go and discover you are always loved.   there is nothing that can make you feel happier.

4.   surrender the remote:  give up some time on the  tube.   spare your thumbs the texting and grow to discover a friend you can take a walk with.  or a book that’s been just waiting for you to find it.

5.   let go of thinking that growing old means  growing up:    just because we are getting  older doesn’t mean we are automatically growing up.   beginning with letting go of all the notions that frighten us into thinking that “old”  can be anything less than gold.

because it is.   blossoming, growing, rebirthing.  in this very instant.  at every stage of our lives.

i would so love to hear what or who you are ready and willing and able to give up this month as we welcome the whispering angels of spring.

peace and blessings,

cristina

 

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love is real – real is love

cristina carlinoUnpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

do you remember this  classic  john lennon song?

“Love is real, real is love

Love is feeling, feeling love

Love is wanting to be loved”

i’m singing these visionary lyrics to myself today  and wondering, can  it be?  in a world of a trillion love songs trying to figure it out –can  it really be  is  this simple?   yes.  my heart knows this is true.  great vision is simple.   great lyrics, not so easy.  i know this myself as a songwriter.   can love still be this pure, 30 years after this  song was written?  has it always been?  can love  remain this innocent  in these record changing times?    past valentine’s day, beyond motherhood.     lennon  was without a doubt  a genius.

and so is love .

love is god’s masterpiece.

god’s greatest  gift

free without purchase

free with our without a religion

available in all sizes and in eternal supply

can i remember when i am wrapped up in my complicated relationships that

“love is touch, touch is love

love is reaching, reaching love”

if i can’t,  can i try to  recall

a tiny baby laughing  in a crib

discovering  her own toes,

playing, touching,  reaching

completely In love with herself.   her image.  your face.

can i  strive to remember  that to reach love now

i don’t need a ladder to climb up on

or a  plane to fly me there

can i sing, simply, “love is asking to be loved.”

will we just  ask for love

instead of fearing  we must earn it?

will i love you without  reason

except that  nothing feels more right?

“love is you

you and me

love is knowing

we can be”

love is free, free is love

love is living, living love

love is needing to be loved

if i am living love, knowing i need love

i am always safe in the world.

change  that comes

dreams  that go

people who we have to let go of

so much more is here

no object  a million words have been able to define

nothing we can visibly see

nothing that is more real.

all god sees is love.

like baby toes.

will i just see love today

if only in little glimpses?

will we sing like dear  john lennon

“it’s easy…

all you need is love?”

i love you,

cristina

i love you unconditionally (under one condition)

cristina carlino

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

that i can forgive you.  oh!  that condition!  can we do that?  can we really forgive others unconditionally, other than our  children and our grandchildren for whom that seems to come to as a gift of  nature?  i’m sure the native american indians got it right when they taught  every living thing from a rock to the earth to a person deserves our love and reverence and forgiveness and that makes such simple sense until someone throws a rock at your back, or breaks your heart in two.  then, under these and a zillion other scenarios, the road to unconditional love via forgiveness can get pretty bumpy.

but the older i become, the more i want to try to stay on it a little bit more daily… i want to love unconditionally and  it helps that dream seem less daunting when i consider what unconditional forgiveness even means:

it does not mean i approve of what was done

it doesn’t mean i have to forget

forgiveness means i forget  about expecting you to change the past

i forget about holding you hostage for it,

so join me on this sacred dirt road and see if any of these lookout points open a new vista. do any of these reasons to forgive someone who you truly want to love resonate with you?

i forgive you for:

taking me to a “romantic valentine’s dinner” at a place that played rap.

leaving your dirty socks on the floor.  again.

not doing it the way i would do it.

giving me advice i didn’t ask for.

being smarter, prettier, richer or funnier than i am.

not being able to make me happy

talking about me behind my back

not being who i told others you would be.

i forgive you for  embarrassing me

i forgive you for not showing up on time

for what you said to me when i was a child

for what you didn’t say

i forgive you for not being healthy.

i forgive you for not choosing me

i forgive you for choosing me for what I never wanted to be chosen for

i forgive you for laying me off my job

i forgive you for reminding me of my mother, father, sister, teacher

i forgive you for being black, white, male, female, foreign or furry.  (fill in the blank)

so i pray for a forgiving heart so that i may love you unconditionally.  and under one final condition:

that i can forgive myself first.  because if i have no forgiveness for me i really have none to offer you.

it’s not an easy journey but it’s so worth it.  the road itself is very forgiving.  nothing but love.  it’s not a project.  it’s a process.  a little bit more each day.  it may well be what heals us and our world.

peace and blessings,

cristina

love the one you’re with…that would be you!

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

cristina carlino

love is in the air.  and as always on the airwaves.   on the  oldie’s station  yesterday i heard the  classic,  “love the one you’re with.”   remember  that one?    “and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.”   i was only eight  in 1970 when stephen stills recorded that  and they’ve been playing it ever since.  free love was the big thing back then.   today, i’m prayerful my nine year old daughter is growing up in a world where “self love” is even  bigger.  at least there are more female rockers singing about it.   because we are at last beginning to get the picture that we need not be with some dude that is just not that into us or maybe he really is into us and loves us unconditionally but  it can’t  make us feel loved long enough or  right enough if we don’t  love ourselves.  the one we spend every living breath of our lives with.  it often seems we are often the last to receive our own love.  come to find out no matter how much we feel we are giving our highest love to another, we cannot love another more than we love ourselves.

so this being the month of valentine’s love, i’m thinking more about intimacy.  with the love of my life,   with my child, a friend, my  parents, my siblings –  intimacy is being known and seen for who you truly are.  beginning with knowing and seeing my true self.  so here is a list of ways i’ve made to practice loving myself.  see if they work for you. in the morning.  when your  eyes first open  and before your  feet touch the floor,  give thanks.  you are still alive.  you are still here! in the morning.  when your  eyes first open  and before your  feet touch the floor,  give thanks.  you are still alive.  you are still here!

  1. look in the mirror and smile.   just say thank you.
  2. ask  for help at least one time each day.  whether from your idea of a god or another person.   how extraordinary  to discover we cannot do everything on our own.  we don’t have to and we don’t need to.     also, it rarely works.
  3. here’s a little alphabet game to  play  when you forget about  loving yourself.   start with a and go to z and come up with a name for each letter of someone who you love and someone who loves you.  my list can include our dog, authors who have changed my life, relatives who i may not have seen for years.
  4. i pray to love myself and see myself as god sees me.  even if i only can do this for a minute at a time.
  5. make yourself a delicious meal – a recipe you may have wanted to try for a long time.  or a new restaurant.  go alone or invite someone  you know from your alphabet list to join you.  dress up.  put on the earrings you think are only to be worn for a very special occasion.  this is it!
  6. go to the movies.  see something you’re in the mood to see that day.
  7. take a long luscious bath.  add bubbles.   light a few candles.  wash each part of your body as if it were the masterpiece of art and science that it is.
  8. take yourself dancing  (if only in your living room).  put on the music that will make your heart and soul rock out.
  9. allow yourself to be courageous.   tell yourself a secret  you may not have admitted to yourself or anyone in a long time or ever.  maybe it’s something you did in high school.  write it down on a piece of paper that nobody else needs to see.   read it out loud to yourself. share it with someone who you trust or do as i do- burn it and let it go.
  10. cry if you need to. a good cry is a priceless cleansing.
  11. laugh if you can.  a good laugh at ourselves opens the doors to a  new world.
  12. give yourself permission to pleasure your body.   our bodies need  and deserve  affection as well as emotional and sexual release.  use it or lose it.
  13. give up the need to be perfect.  one loving day we awaken to find all our search for perfection is good for is keeping us away from ourselves and others.
  14. practice listening for your own self judgments.  you know, the ones that  assess your every thought and action.  if you can do this for ten minutes a day you will learn so much more about your self.

come to find out intimacy is much more than taking off our clothes.  it’s taking off our masks.  it’s getting truly naked.   when we can give these things to ourselves we have them to give to others.  we can grow and keep growing.   we can truly support growth in  the ones we love and the one we are always with.  and isn’t that what love really is?

love and blessings,

c

 

why choosing for the common good is good for you!

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

cristina carlinoremember the golden rule?   you may have first heard about it in kindergarten.  our little worlds were getting bigger.  that’s when we were taught about cooperation and sharing in groups even larger than our family.  if you wanted to be heard you raised your hand to speak.  if you wanted to have any friends, you let everyone have their turn on the swing.   it was all for the common good.  whether we were good at it all the time (and believe me i wasn’t), we wanted to be.  our little bodies and souls knew doing good felt good.  plus we might even get rewarded with a gold star!

now we are all adults living in a very busy and complex world that seems to be getting both bigger and smaller and more out of control every day.  in more situations than we can count, we have learned to take care of and watch out for ourselves.   many of us may not even know what “for the common good” even means anymore.  it means, basically, considering the greatest good for the greatest number,  and to “sweeten the deal”, choosing for the common good is good for you, too!

here are a few reasons why:

l.            considering others is good for your heart.  scientifically proven.   something you may not have been so concerned with in kindergarten.

2.            when we choose for the common good we are choosing from love whether we know it or not .  whether we are l00 percent enamored with our choice or not.   more love less fear.  less fear less stress.

3.            choosing for the common good does not mean you lose ourselves.   rather you may find yourself at last in your  right home where you have always lived – a global village.

2.            when  choosing for the common good  you are not asked to be a martyr, hero or doormat.  in fact with the weight of the world not living solely on your shoulders, you may feel less like one of those than you have in years.  you may feel very happy!

3.            choosing for the common good doesn’t mean our needs are not important.  it doesn’t mean we are less lovable.   it can mean we are more loved.

3.            choosing for the common good can naturally make you more compassionate.  medical research  proves that being compassionate lifts a hormone in our brains ( DHEA ) that slows the aging process.  something else we didn’t care about in kindergarten.

4.            choosing for the common good is a good choice for us because now, unlike when we were children, we have a myriad of other additional opportunities to practice it:  here’s just a few:

–            at  home – listen, laugh, forgive, repeat

–            in traffic –  be really, really polite and considerate

–            at work –  get your job done.  everyone’s livelihood depends on it.

–            at a movie theatre – “shhhhh means “shhhhhhhhh”

–            at the gym – play well with others

–            charity –    if one person’s hungry, we are all hungrier than we know

–            volunteering –    time is your greatest gift.  Long before time is money.

–            with your neighbors – live and let live and let your dog in if she’s barking

–            in your places of worship – consider that God loves the person next to you as much as He loves you.

–            for the environment – please leave this world as clean as when you came and a little cleaner, for our children.

choosing for the common good may not at this point in our adult lives include the possibility of a gold star, but unlike any other time in recorded  history, it may be our only hope for survival.

i’d love to hear ways how choosing for the common good has proven to be good for you.

peace and  blessings,

c

my quotes

cristina carlino

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

i wanted to keep a running list of quotes, so i can update it whenever something inspires me! make sure you add your quotes on my facebook page; we are all here to inspire each other! xo

“The power of choice is all about the courage to choose the road less traveled. The right choice is always the one that takes greater faith on our part, greater risk, greater sacrifice and greater surrender” – C. Carlino

“Let go, let life” – C. Carlino

“Express passionately, live fearlessly, and become a walking prayer” – C. Carlino

“Choose with your eyes closed, your heart open, in silence” – C. Carlino

“Fate is chance, destiny is choice, when is the last time you went dancing?” – C. Carlino

“An intuitive choice is a no brainer. Only hearts need apply” – C. Carlino

“The best choices are when your heart and head are saying the same thing” – C. Carlino

“Our head chooses bad boys our heart chooses good ones” – C. Carlino

“Let your heart lead your brain” – C. Carlino

“A brand, in my opinion, is based on the people who create it, co-create it, and help it grow. The ‘culture’ of the company is the primary foundation on which any great brand is built” – C. Carlino

“There is plenty of room at the top, it’s the bottom that’s crowded” – C. Carlino

“The product has to be a game changer” – C. Carlino

“To win the game you have to change it” – C. Carlino

“Let your heart lead your life” – C. Carlino

“Let go, let love” – C. Carlino

“When making any choice always choose for our children” – C. Carlino

“We are reflections of one another we are one” – C. Carlino

“The only thing better than being loved is being loving” – C. Carlino

“Make love to everything that you do and be love to everyone that you meet” – C. Carlino

“Making love matters” – C. Carlino

“Love is the great equalizer. It doesn’t matter how rich, beautiful, powerful or intelligent you are. If you love to capacity you win the game called life” – C. Carlino

“Unconditional love forgives” – C. Carlino

“Love without limits and conditions” – C. Carlino

“Write your own love story with you as the beloved” – C. Carlino

“Love is the only thing that makes us weightless” – C. Carlino

“Love is the only diet a body and soul needs” – C. Carlino

“Love thyself unconditionally so that you can love others” – C. Carlino

“Live to love and love to live” – C. Carlino

“Everyone is born again in each and every moment of each and everyday” – C. Carlino

“Rebirth realigns us” – C. Carlino

“Begin again and again and again” – C. Carlino

“If work is medicine and overwork is pure poison” – C. Carlino

“There is no such thing as balancing an unbalanced work life” – C. Carlino

“When you are stressed out you cant sleep. When you are burnt out you cant wake up” – C. Carlino

 

choose with your heart, it’s smarter than you think…

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

cristina carlinofive days after  this past weekend’s horrific shootings in tuscon,  i am still trying to wrap my head around how this moment in time came to pass and what it may mean for the bereaved families and our country for years to come.  i know i am not alone. and then suddenly i get it – no matter how many thoughts i have or facts i read or opinions i hear, i will never be able to wrap my head around this.  my head simply isn’t big enough for the job.  only my heart is.  my heart may not make sense of the senseless, but it brings peace, creativity and new possibilities beyond what  my mind can understand to today’s reality.  every day.  if i can be still and choose to listen.

so i am choosing with my heart today and all year.  here in  my 49th year on this beautiful planet in the year 20ll  are a few more of my  reasons why i invite you to join me in following your heart’s choices:

1. my heart will never close its  door on me

although i have shut the door on it in the past more times than i could ever count. my heart is still wide open for the asking after my very best thoughts have only been able to wear me down.

2.  the heart is its own brain bank

i spent several years feeling insecure about my intelligence because i only got a high school diploma.   when i first founded  and began building what became two very successful companies (including philosophy), i was especially aware of this.  but  my heart revealed itself as  my most brilliant  professor guiding me to every next lesson  i needed.   including meeting   many wonderful college educated people who knew what i could not know and helped grow these dream businesses with me.

3. i’m choosing with my heart because when i choose with my head i know:

i  may be making a decision based on my fear. what will my parents think?   what if i get sick?  what if it doesn’t work out the way i want to?

logic won’t choose intuition  if  i’m writing  a pros and cons list of a situation to make my decision, the answer is not on the paper.  the answer is in my heart and my gut although in my head, I may feel very happy and relieved for a while.   i think i am in control. i think i am right.

4. i’m choosing to choose with my heart because:

when i do, it’s not that  i am right.  it’s that “it’s just right.”  it feels right.

i’m certain i’m not in control.  something greater than my thoughts is leading the way.  i feel happy.  my heart feels a little bit bigger.   .

5.   i’m choosing with my heart because  i have discovered it  makes for the  greatest adventure and the scariest ride.

people may call you crazy or a visionary.  i’ve been called both many times over.  but very few days of my life have i called myself not curious.

6.   i’m choosing with my heart because it can make decisions big and small

it has no judgment on what makes a right question. any question will do just fine. from which shoes i should  wear with this outfit to how to best answer my daughter’s serious question to what project may i best serve next.

7.   i’m choosing with my heart because to do so i must get very still.

our invaluable brains are  accumulating information and  making decisions at faster and faster speeds.  i can hear mine at times racing nonstop.  but to choose with my heart i must listen to my still, small voice.  i must get still.   not just for a second.  but again and again.  and that is oh so good for me.

8. i am choosing with my heart because it’s a most wonderful practice:

the solutions from our heads are complex.  the ones from our heart are simple. it should be simple but it’s not easy.   it is a skill that can be practiced but never fully mastered.  the outcomes of these choices are not up to me.  choosing what feels right for me in the moment is.

and finally, i’m choosing to choose more from my heart because it is only in my heart where i have the power to truly forgive.  the power to pray for myself and for us all.  the heart to begin anew and the power to consciously believe in miracles.

and i most certainly do.

peace and blessings to us all,

cristina