balance and prayers

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

it has been a wonderful summer for me so far and yet it has included calls that sink the heart. all about cancer. all stage four. these were healthy people. one has more means and access to the best doctors than anyone I know. a routine colonoscopy found liver cancer. another woman i love who has not been sick one day in the twenty years i have known her, had a backache that has turned out to be bone cancer. so what’s going on here? there are things that money can’t buy. there are questions that do not have logical answers. and there is something my dad told me several years ago when at the strike of reaching forty, i felt like i knew way too many young women who were fighting for their lives.

he said, “honey, i want you to think of everyone who is well. i am not asking you to stop caring.” he was asking me to proportion the bad news against the whole of everyone i knew who was well. and against everything that was good. there are miracles occurring all the time – medical and otherwise . so today i am practicing to not allow any one event to define my despair or my joy.  this proportion helps keep me in balance.  prayer gives me choice rather than the illusion of control.  it is the foundation of my balance and it anchors me. i can hold my friend’s hand and pray and let them know they are loved. i can refuse to turn my back and abandon them even though their condition may be uncomfortable and frightening to me. we can rejoice in a friend’s celebration and not turn our backs on them either, because we may feel momentarily threatened by their success. we can pray they have even more. in this way, there is balance, authenticity and the opportunity for authentic gratitude for every single moment that goes by. thank you dad for teaching me that. thank you life for letting me remember that now.

hooray for the red, white and blue (and pink, too!)

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

the long and wonderful july 4^th holiday weekend is over and the landscape of red, white and blue decorations here in new york seems to be changing if not already down wherever i go. to return next year. it can be easy, in the meantime, to forget the extraordinary freedoms we have as americans. the vast majority of us will not be thinking of the thousands of service women and men who are still fighting three wars for our country across the globe.

this blog is not about war. and it’s not about the politics of these wars. i am not political or a proponent of a political party. but i am, to my bone, passionate about humanity and the risks and sacrifices made by those who help preserve our humanity. to that end, i ask you please visit  www.remind.org, a foundation founded by anchorman and iraq war hero, bob woodruff. remind.org has raised to date more than 8.5 million dollars for men and women suffering from the physical and psychological wounds of war. even if you are unable to make a small financial donation, i believe the gift of each brief visit to this site expands our collective heart and conscience to those who may return home and face the injustice of being unsupported and forgotten. we are proud and grateful to be the dear friends and advocates of remind.org. so hooray for the red, white and blue. and for summer, i am most definitely a girl who loves to wear a lot of pink! have you colored yet with the pink crayon in support of finding a cure for breast cancer?  www.shecolorsmyday.com

big ideas

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

on june 15^th, i was the guest speaker at CEW (Cosmetics Executive Women’s) conference in L.A. i was honored to be interviewed on what it takes to build a beauty brand. i have unique experience in this area having created, built and sold two very successful brands with the help of extremely gifted people. as i looked into the audience of 300 beautiful faces, i said “you have to be willing to take a risk.” risk by my definition is being willing to lose, to fail, to fall hard knowing you will look foolish. risk sparks courage and often a “flash of genius” which fuels our ability to create and produce a big idea. you can be one person or a very small company and still be holding the big and very best idea in your pocket. that is what we did when we first started philosophy in l996. our small  company turned out to be an industry  game changer.

so today is the 30^th. it is the last day of june, my birthday and the beginning of my 49^th year. i don’t think of today as “the big one” before the big 50, but rather the best one. the gift i am giving myself this year is to live knowing that every day / each year is always the best one  that  provides  a blank canvas for your finest work of art to be realized.  this past year i started a new venture – Project Miracle. our business model is to connect big ideas with consumer brands and non profits.  we are a very small company with a vision for a brighter future for all.  we will grow by planting one idea at a time.

my birthday wish is for us all to take a risk on the big ones and the best ideas that we have. as for my vision for a big birthday bash, not too long ago i was willing to take a risk on bowling. now i can’t think of anything more fun than bowling, rolling around in laughter and breaking cake with the people i love most.

CEW Women in Beauty Series

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

CEW Women in Beauty Series – West Coast
Couldn’t make it to the event? Well now you can connect with it anyways! On Tuesday, June 15^th, Cristina Carlino, founder of philosophy, shared her insights, anecdotes and recommendations with Jill Scalamandre, CMO, Chrysallis, and CEW Chairwoman, to over 300 attendees at “Top 10 List: How to Build A Beauty Brand,” a CEW Women in Beauty Series event.

The discussion was held at the Fairmont Miramar in Santa Monica, CA. Attendees had the opportunity to network with colleagues at an informal, pre-event cocktail reception followed by the moderated program.

Some great quotes from Cristina and her Top 10 List:

“A brand, in my opinion, is based on the people who create it, co-create it, and help it grow. The “culture” of the company is the primary foundation on which any great brand is built.”

“There is plenty of room at the top, it’s the bottom that’s crowded”

“The product has to be a game changer”

1. Innovation, Efficacy and elegance. Are you innovation driven, price driven or service driven and why you can’t be all three?

2. Consistency, quality control and excellence. Why people don’t go to a restaurant once they have had a bad experience?

3. Authenticity, messaging, packaging. Why you need to be first rather than a fast follower?

4. Staying on brand message: tell the story and stick with it. Why you need to limit the amount of fingertips touching the brand?

5. Distribution strategy. Masstige versus prestige?

6. Supply chain and staying in stock. Product needs to be on the shelf based on supply, operations, and margin.

7. Merchandising and education. Inquiring minds need to know. Sensory people need visual stimulation. Everyone likes “law and order”

8. Multimedia and social networking. Why is hearing the customer and telling them the truth so important?

9. Philanthropy. What does the customer care about? What does the company care about? Why?

10. Building employees and customers and rewarding them in big and small ways. How?

At CEW’s Women in Beauty Series, leading women offer insights into beauty industry issues and inspiration for professional growth. This event was generously sponsored by Kaplow PR, Kolmar Laboratories, Nyx Cosmetics, Ungerer & Company, Nordstrom, Ole Henriksen, Neutrogena, Stila Cosmetics, Ouidad, Liz Earle Naturally Active Skincare, WWD BeautyBiz, MaCher and Fairmont Miramar Santa Monica Hotel.

crawl…walk…run!

Unpublished Work © 2011 Cristina Carlino

life continues to remind us of important lessons … even the lessons i think i’ve mastered, modeled and mentored to others. and honestly, sometimes i need the reminding.

having founded, built and ultimately sold two very successful skincare companies – Biomedic  and philosophy – i learned (sometimes the hard way) that the  only way to grow a company was to crawl-walk-run.  start at a slow crawl with a big and bright idea, and then,  when nature and results tell us we are evolving,  we stand and take our first baby steps.  eventually, when we’re strong enough, we can run. only in this way can we succeed.

i am delighted to be in the very beginning of creating Project Miracle to support non-profits in need.  and while it’s an exciting new project to us, i am reminded these past few weeks that the old rule is the only one that works for me.  today we are crawling.  that is what we are able to do.

thank you to life for the lessons, and thank you to all of you who have written to me asking if your organization can be supported by Project Miracle.  you have all reminded me Project Miracle must travel the only road i know: crawl-walk-run.

it means the world to us that you both support Project Miracle, and to me, personally, that you continue to teach me and join me on this new journey.

-cristina carlino

The beauty of music

i am a lyricist. i love writing songs. i have written several, so i appreciate great female musicians, like cheryl crow. do you know her song, “a change will do you good”? change is good. most of the time i can see and say that…but sometimes i have to pray to be guided to know this to be true.

Like so many forms of beauty in our world, music is something both universal and so uniquely individual to each of us. We experience music so personally, yet we all experience it. Music touches us in many ways, serves so many purposes, and its message is so often an anchor for our own strength.

Especially in times when change is imminent, when change seems unavoidable and undesirable, music can serve as a reminder that the path of life has many blind turns – but we must not be afraid to forge ahead.

Our Facebook friend John Homer shared some lyrics by Kathy Troccoli that have guided him in such times:

“When the hurricane blows against your heart/ And the sky’s on fire/ And you don’t know where you are./ When you’ve done all you can do,/ And there’s no one else to turn to,/ He will shelter you.”

But the real beauty, the real miracle of music, lies in its capacity to comfort us in all different and changing situations. Veronica Bisesti is another Facebook friend who appreciates the music integrated into every stage of her life, whether joyful or heart-aching.

“[Music] can bring me right back to those precious moments and conjure up the emotions,” she writes. “And it’s at those times, when I’m reliving the pain or the joy, that I can best reflect on what really matters NOW. Music has helped me grow, relax AND change.”

And friends, that is the heart of the matter. Everything changes – the world around us and the people within it. Share music and how you experience it, how it bolsters you in hard times and lifts you up in wonderful times.

Music is a beautiful thing. And so are we.

Screenshot of Facebook discussion of music

They Light Up My Life

Miracles. They happen every day; big and small, but always important. Project miracle was created by Cristina Carlino in order to bring a new day to those in need. Here is a beautiful and uplifting story that illustrates the amazing bond between mothers and daughters, those who need a smile and those who give smiles and the power of believing in miracles…

They Light Up My Life

By

Bonnie Bridges

for

Cristina Carlino

Who offered her love and support to me when I was still unaware of how much I needed it.

My day started with a leisurely drive to Palo Alto (we live in SF) for a routine mammogram at Stanford Radiology at 2:30 pm on May 20, 2008. I was 48 and had skipped a few years of scans due to the oft-used working mother excuse: too busy with work, kids, husband, life, and friends.

I did the usual – undress, wear a cloth gown (that never ties quite right, seems to be designed to confound the user, AND is prone to gaping open while seated, exposing the soon-to-be mangled breasts) and wait. Get the mammogram. It is so weird to have your breast smashed into oblivion, while the empathetic nurse says “sorry that it hurts so much”. I think they must secretly enjoy inflicting pain; (just thought of this, perhaps they secretly love the pain aspect, which is why there has not been any new invention for breast cancer screening). And wait.

“Wait here while I have the doctor examine your mammogram” said the nurse, pointing to the waiting area, an eddy-like alcove off the hallway, opposite the exam rooms. I ambled in, a little bit annoyed that I couldn’t leave (as I had another business appointment at 4:30 back in the City). I carry my stuff along with my Stanford issued, non-recyclable dark mauve and tan plastic bag and sit, trying my best, along with the few other women, to appear is if waiting for the doctor to examine your mammogram is the most routine thing in the world. The three of us made the eddy feel crowded. I make a bee line for the solo chair near the New Yorker to bury myself in a few enjoyable essays.

“Bonnie, the doctor reviewed your scan and would like to do an ultrasound; come this way please”. I did as instructed, asking how long she thought it would take, thinking about having to call and cancel my business appointments for the afternoon. “About 45 minutes” she replies, which translates into 1.5 hours. Hmmm. I could still get back to SF, just in time, but I don’t like being rushed. So before I step into the exam room, I bring out my cell and cancel my appointments.

The ultrasound is painless (unlike our pre-historic mammogram exams — will someone PLEASE figure out how to get rid of this medieval medical device). During the ultrasound, the “I have to be cheery even when I’m working in a cancer radiology clinic and always the first one to “see” the cancer” radiation technologist, gave it away. The almost undetectable change in her attitude told me there was something wrong. Cancer. It was as clear as if she had yelled it across the room. I went from an annoying patient at the end of a long day, to one who needed empathy.

The ultrasound technician then asked me to wait again in the same eddy while the doctor examined the ultrasound. After about forty five minutes, she came out, with these sad, empathetic eyes and said it was OK to get dressed — helping me up from my chair (since when did I need help getting up?). Hmmmm. Highly suspicious. Something is wrong. But the tech’s can’t spill the beans. As I exit, they ask me to schedule an appointment for a biopsy.

The following week the biopsy was done and I had to wait two weeks to see Dr. Wapnir (breast surgeon) to review the results and get the confirmation for cancer diagnosis. Although suspicions had been raised, I tried hard to convince myself that the likelihood of me having cancer was so minor (I had a scare in 2004 that turned out negative) that I was able to appear calm (when in fact I was a wreck, but I didn’t want my family to know).

I went to the appointment by myself and was told by the resident doctor (Dr. Wapnir tends to be a bit over-scheduled) that I had ductile carcinoma and that there were options for treatment and that Dr. Wapnir would explain the options when she came in.

What the ____! The poor resident was nervous, scared, afraid of my reaction (it’s a steep learning curve, but I suppose it’s what’s required if you want to work in a cancer center).

Wapnir came in, cut to the chase (empathy through information style; which I grew to like and appreciate) and gave me the low down in her flat, slightly nasely voice: ER/PR positive, Stage 2C ductile carcinoma, large mass in left breast with diffuse edges and possible remote cancerous spots. Her recommendations: neo-adjuvant chemo, surgery and then radiation. She sent me home with a booklet “how to tell your kids when a parent has a terminal illness” and jump-started my confrontation with mortality. I read the booklet in the exam room, called Bill (my husband of 20 years) and we decided to pick up our 8 year old twin daughters from school and take them to Zuni Café (our family favorite) to share the news.

We sat in the window on the ground floor facing Market Street. I sat on the bench side and placed the book face open to the 7-10 year old section and told them that I had breast cancer. Nina shouted “you’re going to die” and Dora said, “Mom, I’m really sorry that you have cancer, is there anything I can do to help?”; nothing like di-zygotic twins to get the full spectrum of responses. I told them all that we knew (per the book’s advice); that I was sick, that breast cancer is treatable; that I would be in treatment for a long time, but that the doctor’s thought that I would be OK The food didn’t taste as good as usual.

The twins were born when I was 39 after a five long years of infertility treatments. They have been such an amazing blessing and I can’t imagine my life without them. I knew that they would be alright without me but the recurring thought of not seeing them go off to college, get married, have kids, kept haunting me; I would be overwhelmed with sadness and cry (but never in front of them).

During my treatment, I reached out to all of my friends and family and beyond (into the vast energy spectrum) and let them help. This was a huge step for me — as I’m about as stoic and self-sufficient as they come. One of those angels was Cristina Carlino. Through her generosity, I was able to attend a healing retreat called “Entering the Castle” given by Carolyn Myss in Austin, Texas in the spring of 2009 (in the middle of my radiation). These four days of deep inner work (on both the body and mind) were as critical to my healing as chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation.

And now it’s June 2010; the two-year anniversary of my diagnosis, one year out of treatment and I’m cancer free and looking forward to the next few years of emotional wrangling with my tween (pre-teen) girls. Life is truly a gift. Something I will do my best to remember every time the hormone-induced emotional roller coaster of pre-pubescent teen angst rears its ugly head. Nina, Dora. I love you. No matter what.

during chemo (2008) - people who received this photo thought that this was our way of telling everyone that I was going to die; but it was actually a message for people to take their white paper (that appeared blank) and hold it over a flame to reveal the "happy new year" message (which we wrote in invisible ink --- milk). a mercurial holiday card.

Post chemo (2009) - we take about 100 shots and everyone we send a card to gets a different image; we sort based on who would like funny, serious, etc. I like this one because we love to goof off and play.

There’s always something!

Some of the most solid and true advice ever given is this:

When you’re feeling down, go do something good for someone else.

Giving makes us feel better. Science has proven that it releases more of the feel-good hormones in our brains, which in turn helps make a yucky afternoon (or day, or week, or season) better.

But we don’t really need science to tell us this. When we spend time focusing on something other than ourselves, we give our spirit a break from what’s troubling us and can share in the joys, sorrows and humor of others.

Flickr user San Jose Library

Some days are hard. Sometimes the biggest victory is simply getting out of bed in the morning and taking a deep breath. And that’s a true victory. But on those days that we’re feeling so down, so unmotivated that all we want to do is watch Golden Girls reruns and devour a pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream, getting up and doing for someone else is exactly what the feel-good hormones ordered.

And on those days it can be hard to feel like we have anything to give. But giving isn’t just about writing a fat check to a non-profit (although there’s certainly nothing wrong with that, either!). If you have a half hour, an hour, a morning free, you can volunteer your time with a local charity that’s doing something you believe in. If you’re stuck in bed sick but can’t sleep, you could use that time to knit a scarf as a gift or read over a colleagues’ rough draft of their book.

“giving back saves me every moment of my life. when i am giving i am receiving. i know of no other way to rebound from a bad day than to give and live in the skin of someone else who needs more than i do. that said, a warning to all working moms, especially single working moms. you have nothing left to give. please take care of you. and remember when you need rest, take it. exhaustion immobilizes us,” cristina carlino said.

Have two arms? Give a hug! A mouth? Give a smile! Have one good eye? Give a wink!

Charity and community groups are always looking for volunteers. Check your local library’s children’s group- they could probably use another reader. Have a friend that loves fitness and wants to begin a health group? Offer to set up a local MeetUp for her. You dad has boxes of slides from forty years ago? Offer to have them digitized.

It really doesn’t matter what it is you do, as long as you’re doing something. You’ll be amazed at the beautiful, positive impact you’ll have on yourself (not to mention on everyone around you!).

It always helps to have a go-to list you can use when you’re feeling down. Make that contact with your local library now, so that when you’re having one of those couch days, you’ll know you have something prepared.

You can keep a list of them here, too. We’d love to see all your great ideas of how to give- we’re sure you’ll all have far more creative ideas than we’ve written here to share! Post them in the comments, and we’ll all be better for them.

Miracles really do happen.

You’re proof of that. I’m proof of that. Everyone you’ve ever met is proof of that (even if that proof wasn’t readily ascertainable).

Watching community grow around the cristina carlino Facebook page has been such a blessing. Together, we are helping Project Miracle’s #1 and #2 grow!

And we’ve got some really neat, really new stuff going on. We’ve added a bunch of tabs on our Facebook page- now there are more ways for you to get involved, more ways to feel connected and more ways to be a part of cristina’s miracle projects.

Prayers. Just like those ‘give a penny, take a penny’ jars at the cash register are there for you just when you need a little bit more, or feel like you have a little bit more to give, the Prayers page is a place where you can give and receive. Post a prayer for someone or for yourself- we’ll pray with you!

Prayers

Books we Love. These books have meant a great deal to cristina. They’ve inspired, brought comfort, been great companions and have taught us so much about the world. But the most important part (of any reading adventure, we would argue) is that these books have made us happy and helped us understand ourselves.

Books!

Gift Box. This is our way of giving back, in the traditional gift-giving sense, to you! Simply send us an email- info@projectmiracle.com- and we’ll enter your name into a drawing for some of our Miracle-inspired gifts, like cristina’s journal-book ‘the changing room’ and our new She Colors My Day shirt.

Gift Box

Wish-O’s. It’s our photo contest! Submit your favorite pics of your little girl to be entered, or just send one along with a wish.

Wish-O's

And don’t forget- we’re on Twitter too, so feel free to send a message @cristinacarlino!

Can’t wait to hear/read/see more of you! Together, we are making miracles happen.

books we love!

books. written words. unfolded stories. connection. growth.

we love books, for all their amazing powers to connect us to something outside ourselves, teach us about the world around us and, the best part, teach us about ourselves.

walking into a bookstore, a library or sometimes even rummaging around your own bookcase can ignite a sense of grandeur and adventure. what will i learn, who will i connect with, where will i travel?

on our facebook page we recently added a tab called “books we love.” it’s filled with all sorts of titles, but they all have something in common- they inspire. they connect. they teach us about ourselves and the world.

if any of the books we’ve listed look interesting to you, click on the cover and amazon.com will pop up, with detailed information on the title and (of course) how to buy it if it strikes you in such a way that it has to become part of your personal library.

our list isn’t exhaustive of course- there are so many wonderful titles to chose from. are there books you simply can’t live without, that have been instrumental in how you see the world? share those with us in the comment section below.

we have also listed each title on our “discussion” tab in facebook, in order for you all to share your thoughts and create communities around the “books we luv.” i would love to hear your thoughts on the books, as well as listen to each beautiful story about how the books have inspired each of you.

each one of these books were handpicked by cristina carlino because she felt “they are (all) soulful books that changed my life in small and large ways.”

so here’s to happy reading, sharing experiences, and the starting of a brand new adventure at project miracle. we hope you’ll join us.